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Thursday, November 3, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Our prisons are crowded with those who were allowed to have their own way during their youth.
http://www.graceonlinelibrary.org/home-family/christian-parenting/a-word-to-parents-by-arthur-w-pink/
One of the saddest and most tragic features of our twentieth-century “Civilization” is the awful prevalence of disobedience on the part of children to their parents during the days of childhood, and their lack of reverence and respect when they grow up. This is evidenced in many ways, alas, even in the families of professing Christians. In his extensive travels during the past thirty years the writer has sojourned in a great many homes. The piety and beauty of some of them remain as scared and fragrant memories: but others of them have left the most painful impressions. Children who are self-willed or spoiled, not only bring themselves into perpetual unhappiness, but inflict discomfort upon all who come into contact with them, and foreshadow evil things for the days to come.
In the vast majority of cases the children are not to be blamed nearly so much as the parents. Failure to honor father and mother, wherever it is found, is in large measure due to parental departure from the Scriptural pattern. Nowadays the father considers that he has fulfilled his obligations by providing food and raiment for his children, and by acting occasionally as a species of moral policeman. Too often the mother is content to be a domestic drudge, making herself the slave of her children instead of training them to be useful, performing many a task which her daughters should do, in order to allow them freedom for the frivolous. The consequence has been that the home, which ought to be-for its orderliness, its sanctity, and its reigns of love-a miniature heaven and earth, has degenerated into “a filling station for the day and a parking place for the night” as someone has tersely expressed it.
Before outlining the duties of parents toward their children, let it be pointed out that they cannot properly discipline their children unless they have first learned to govern themselves. How can they expect to subdue self-will in their little ones and check the rise of an angry temper if their own passions are allowed free reign? The character of parents is to be a very large degree reproduced in their offspring: “And Adam lived a hundred and thirty years and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image” (Gen 5:3). The parent must himself or herself be in subjection to God if they may lawfully expect obedience from their little ones. This principle is enforced in Scriptures again and again: “Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself?” (Rom 2:21). Of the bishop or pastor it is written that he must be, “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity. For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (I Tim 3:4,5). And if a man or woman know not how to rule their own spirit (Pro 25:28), how shall they care for their offspring.
God has intrusted to parents a most solemn and yet a most precious privilege. It is not too much to say that in their hands are deposited the hope and blessing, or else the curse and plague of the next generation. Their families are the nurseries of both Church and State, and according to the cultivating of them now, such will be their fruitfulness hereafter. How prayerfully and carefully should they discharge their trust. Most assuredly God will require an account of the children from the parents’ hands, for they are His, and only lent to their care and keeping. The task assigned you is no easy one, especially in these superlatively evil days. Nevertheless, if trustfully and earnestly sought, the grace of God will be found sufficient here as elsewhere. The Scriptures supply us with rules to go by, with promises to lay hold of and, we may add, with fearful warnings lest we treat the matter lightly.
Instruct Your Children
We have space to mention but four of the principal duties delegated to parents. First, to instruct their children. “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deut 6:6,7). This work is far too important to allocate unto others: parents, and not Sunday School teachers, are divinely required to educate their little ones. Nor is this to be an occasional or sporadic thing, but one that is to have constant attention. The glorious character of God, the requirements of His holy law, the exceeding sinfulness of sin, the wondrous gift of His Son, and the fearful doom which is the certain portion of all who despise and reject Him, are to be brought repeatedly before the minds of the little ones. “They are too young to understand such things” is the devil’s argument to deter you from discharging your duty.
“And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). It is to be noted that the “fathers” are here specifically addressed, and this for two reasons: because they are the head of the family and its government is especially committed to them, and because they are prone to transfer this duty unto their wives. This instruction is to be given by reading to them the Holy Scriptures and expounding upon those things suitable for their age. This should be followed by catechising them. A continued discourse to the young is not nearly so effective as when it is diversified by questions and answers. If they know they will be questioned on what you read, they will listen more closely: the formulating of answers teaches them to think for themselves. Such a method is also found to make the memory more retentive, for answering definite questions fixes more specific ideas in the mind. Observe how often Christ asked His disciples questions.
Be a Good Example
Second, good instructions are to be accompanied by good example. That teaching which issues only from the lips is not at all likely to sink any deeper than the ears. Children are particularly quick to detect inconsistencies, and despise hypocrisy. It is at this point parents need to be most on their faces before God, daily seeking from Him that grace which they so sorely need and which He alone can supply. What care they need to take lest they say or do anything before their children which would tend to corrupt their minds or be of evil consequence for them to follow! How they need to be constantly on their guard against anything which might render them contemptible in the eyes of those who should respect and revere them! The parent is not only to instruct his children in the ways of holiness, but is himself to walk before them in those ways, and show by his practice and demeanor what a pleasant and profitable thing it is to be regulated by the divine law.
In a Christian home the supreme aim should be household piety-the honoring of God at all times-everything else being subordinated thereto. In the matter of family life, neither husband nor wife can throw on the other all the responsibility for the religious character of the home. The mother is most certainly required to supplement the efforts of the father, for the children enjoy far more of her company than they do of his. If there is a tendency in fathers to be too strict and severe, mothers are prone to be too lax and lenient, and they need to be much on their guard against anything which would weaken her husband’s authority: when he has forbidden a thing, she must not give her consent to it. It is striking to note that the exhortation of Ephesians 6:4 is preceded by “be filled with the Spirit” (5:18), while the parallel exhortation in Colossians 3:21 is preceded by “let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly” (v. 16), showing that parents cannot possibly discharge their duties unless they are filled with the Spirit and the Word.
Discipline Your Children
Third, instruction and example is to be enforced by correction and discipline. This means, first of all, the exercise of authority-the proper reign of law. Of the father of the faithful, God said, “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which He hath spoken of him” (Gen 18:19). Ponder this carefully, Christian fathers. Abraham did more than offer good advice: he enforced law and order in his household. The rules he administered had for their design the keeping of the “way of the Lord”-that which was right in His sight. And this duty was performed by the patriarch in order that the blessing of God might rest on his family. No family can be properly brought up without household laws, which include reward and punishment, and these are especially important in early childhood, when as yet moral character is unformed and moral motives are not understood or appreciated.
Rules should be simple, clear, reasonable and flexible like the Ten Commandments – a few great moral rules, instead of a multitude of petty restrictions. One way of needlessly provoking children to wrath is to hamper them with a thousand trifling restrictions and minute regulations that are arbitrary, due to a parent who is a perfectionist. It is of vital importance for the child’s future good that he or she should be brought into subjection at an early age: an untrained child means a lawless adult-our prisons are crowded with those who were allowed to have their own way during their youth. The least offense of a child against the rulers of the home ought not to pass without due correction, for if it find leniency in one direction toward one offense, it will expect the same towards others, and then disobedience will become more frequent till the parent has no control except that of brute force.
The teaching of Scripture is crystal clear on this point. “Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Prov 22:15; and cf. 23:13,14). Therefore God has said, “He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Prov 13:24). And again, “Chasten thy son while there is yet hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Prov 19:18). Let not a foolish fondness stop you: certainly God loves His children with a deeper parental affection than you can love yours, yet He tells us “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten” (Rev 3:19 and cf. Heb 12:6). “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Prov 29:15). Such severity must be used in their early years, before age and obstinacy have hardened the child against the fear and sting of correction. Spare the rod, and you spoil the child: use it not on him, and you lay up one for your own back.
It should hardly need pointing out that the above Scriptures are far from inculcating that a reign of terror is to mark the home life. Children can be governed and punished in such a way so that they do not lose their respect and affections toward their parents. Beware of souring their temper by unreasonable demands, or provoking their wrath by smiting them to vent your own rage. The parent is to punish a disobedient child not because he is angry, but because he is right- because God requires it, and the welfare of the child demands it. Never make a threat which you have no intention of executing, nor a promise you do not mean to perform. Remember that for your children to be well informed is good, but for them to be well controlled is better.
Pay close attention to the unconscious influences of a child’s surroundings. Study to make the home attractive: not by producing carnal and worldly things but by noble ideals, by inculcating a spirit of unselfishness, by genial and happy fellowship. Separate the little ones from evil associates. Watch carefully the periodicals and books which come into the home, the occasional guest which sits at the table, and the companionships your children form. Parents carelessly let people have free access to their children who undermine their authority, overturn their ideals, and sow seeds of frivolity and iniquity before they are aware. Never let your child spend a night among strangers. So train your girls that they will be useful and helpful members of their generation, and your boys that they will be industrious and self-supporting.
Pray For Your Children
Fourthly, the last and most important duty, respecting both the temporal and spiritual good of your children, is fervent supplication to God for them. Without this all the rest will be ineffectual. Means are unavailing unless the Lord blesses them. The Throne of Grace is to be earnestly implored that your efforts to bring up your children for God may be crowned with success. True, there must be a humble submission to His sovereign will, a bowing before the truth of Election. On the other hand, it is the privilege of faith to lay hold of the divine promises and to remember that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Of holy Job it is recorded concerning his sons and daughters that he “rose up early in the morning and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all.” (1:5) A prayerful atmosphere should pervade the home and be breathed by all who share it.
A Word to Parents by Arthur W. Pink
One of the saddest and most tragic features of our twentieth-century “Civilization” is the awful prevalence of disobedience on the part of children to their parents during the days of childhood, and their lack of reverence and respect when they grow up. This is evidenced in many ways, alas, even in the families of professing Christians. In his extensive travels during the past thirty years the writer has sojourned in a great many homes. The piety and beauty of some of them remain as scared and fragrant memories: but others of them have left the most painful impressions. Children who are self-willed or spoiled, not only bring themselves into perpetual unhappiness, but inflict discomfort upon all who come into contact with them, and foreshadow evil things for the days to come.In the vast majority of cases the children are not to be blamed nearly so much as the parents. Failure to honor father and mother, wherever it is found, is in large measure due to parental departure from the Scriptural pattern. Nowadays the father considers that he has fulfilled his obligations by providing food and raiment for his children, and by acting occasionally as a species of moral policeman. Too often the mother is content to be a domestic drudge, making herself the slave of her children instead of training them to be useful, performing many a task which her daughters should do, in order to allow them freedom for the frivolous. The consequence has been that the home, which ought to be-for its orderliness, its sanctity, and its reigns of love-a miniature heaven and earth, has degenerated into “a filling station for the day and a parking place for the night” as someone has tersely expressed it.
Before outlining the duties of parents toward their children, let it be pointed out that they cannot properly discipline their children unless they have first learned to govern themselves. How can they expect to subdue self-will in their little ones and check the rise of an angry temper if their own passions are allowed free reign? The character of parents is to be a very large degree reproduced in their offspring: “And Adam lived a hundred and thirty years and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image” (Gen 5:3). The parent must himself or herself be in subjection to God if they may lawfully expect obedience from their little ones. This principle is enforced in Scriptures again and again: “Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself?” (Rom 2:21). Of the bishop or pastor it is written that he must be, “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity. For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (I Tim 3:4,5). And if a man or woman know not how to rule their own spirit (Pro 25:28), how shall they care for their offspring.
God has intrusted to parents a most solemn and yet a most precious privilege. It is not too much to say that in their hands are deposited the hope and blessing, or else the curse and plague of the next generation. Their families are the nurseries of both Church and State, and according to the cultivating of them now, such will be their fruitfulness hereafter. How prayerfully and carefully should they discharge their trust. Most assuredly God will require an account of the children from the parents’ hands, for they are His, and only lent to their care and keeping. The task assigned you is no easy one, especially in these superlatively evil days. Nevertheless, if trustfully and earnestly sought, the grace of God will be found sufficient here as elsewhere. The Scriptures supply us with rules to go by, with promises to lay hold of and, we may add, with fearful warnings lest we treat the matter lightly.
Instruct Your Children
We have space to mention but four of the principal duties delegated to parents. First, to instruct their children. “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deut 6:6,7). This work is far too important to allocate unto others: parents, and not Sunday School teachers, are divinely required to educate their little ones. Nor is this to be an occasional or sporadic thing, but one that is to have constant attention. The glorious character of God, the requirements of His holy law, the exceeding sinfulness of sin, the wondrous gift of His Son, and the fearful doom which is the certain portion of all who despise and reject Him, are to be brought repeatedly before the minds of the little ones. “They are too young to understand such things” is the devil’s argument to deter you from discharging your duty.
“And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). It is to be noted that the “fathers” are here specifically addressed, and this for two reasons: because they are the head of the family and its government is especially committed to them, and because they are prone to transfer this duty unto their wives. This instruction is to be given by reading to them the Holy Scriptures and expounding upon those things suitable for their age. This should be followed by catechising them. A continued discourse to the young is not nearly so effective as when it is diversified by questions and answers. If they know they will be questioned on what you read, they will listen more closely: the formulating of answers teaches them to think for themselves. Such a method is also found to make the memory more retentive, for answering definite questions fixes more specific ideas in the mind. Observe how often Christ asked His disciples questions.
Be a Good Example
Second, good instructions are to be accompanied by good example. That teaching which issues only from the lips is not at all likely to sink any deeper than the ears. Children are particularly quick to detect inconsistencies, and despise hypocrisy. It is at this point parents need to be most on their faces before God, daily seeking from Him that grace which they so sorely need and which He alone can supply. What care they need to take lest they say or do anything before their children which would tend to corrupt their minds or be of evil consequence for them to follow! How they need to be constantly on their guard against anything which might render them contemptible in the eyes of those who should respect and revere them! The parent is not only to instruct his children in the ways of holiness, but is himself to walk before them in those ways, and show by his practice and demeanor what a pleasant and profitable thing it is to be regulated by the divine law.
In a Christian home the supreme aim should be household piety-the honoring of God at all times-everything else being subordinated thereto. In the matter of family life, neither husband nor wife can throw on the other all the responsibility for the religious character of the home. The mother is most certainly required to supplement the efforts of the father, for the children enjoy far more of her company than they do of his. If there is a tendency in fathers to be too strict and severe, mothers are prone to be too lax and lenient, and they need to be much on their guard against anything which would weaken her husband’s authority: when he has forbidden a thing, she must not give her consent to it. It is striking to note that the exhortation of Ephesians 6:4 is preceded by “be filled with the Spirit” (5:18), while the parallel exhortation in Colossians 3:21 is preceded by “let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly” (v. 16), showing that parents cannot possibly discharge their duties unless they are filled with the Spirit and the Word.
Discipline Your Children
Third, instruction and example is to be enforced by correction and discipline. This means, first of all, the exercise of authority-the proper reign of law. Of the father of the faithful, God said, “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which He hath spoken of him” (Gen 18:19). Ponder this carefully, Christian fathers. Abraham did more than offer good advice: he enforced law and order in his household. The rules he administered had for their design the keeping of the “way of the Lord”-that which was right in His sight. And this duty was performed by the patriarch in order that the blessing of God might rest on his family. No family can be properly brought up without household laws, which include reward and punishment, and these are especially important in early childhood, when as yet moral character is unformed and moral motives are not understood or appreciated.
Rules should be simple, clear, reasonable and flexible like the Ten Commandments – a few great moral rules, instead of a multitude of petty restrictions. One way of needlessly provoking children to wrath is to hamper them with a thousand trifling restrictions and minute regulations that are arbitrary, due to a parent who is a perfectionist. It is of vital importance for the child’s future good that he or she should be brought into subjection at an early age: an untrained child means a lawless adult-our prisons are crowded with those who were allowed to have their own way during their youth. The least offense of a child against the rulers of the home ought not to pass without due correction, for if it find leniency in one direction toward one offense, it will expect the same towards others, and then disobedience will become more frequent till the parent has no control except that of brute force.
The teaching of Scripture is crystal clear on this point. “Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Prov 22:15; and cf. 23:13,14). Therefore God has said, “He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Prov 13:24). And again, “Chasten thy son while there is yet hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Prov 19:18). Let not a foolish fondness stop you: certainly God loves His children with a deeper parental affection than you can love yours, yet He tells us “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten” (Rev 3:19 and cf. Heb 12:6). “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Prov 29:15). Such severity must be used in their early years, before age and obstinacy have hardened the child against the fear and sting of correction. Spare the rod, and you spoil the child: use it not on him, and you lay up one for your own back.
It should hardly need pointing out that the above Scriptures are far from inculcating that a reign of terror is to mark the home life. Children can be governed and punished in such a way so that they do not lose their respect and affections toward their parents. Beware of souring their temper by unreasonable demands, or provoking their wrath by smiting them to vent your own rage. The parent is to punish a disobedient child not because he is angry, but because he is right- because God requires it, and the welfare of the child demands it. Never make a threat which you have no intention of executing, nor a promise you do not mean to perform. Remember that for your children to be well informed is good, but for them to be well controlled is better.
Pay close attention to the unconscious influences of a child’s surroundings. Study to make the home attractive: not by producing carnal and worldly things but by noble ideals, by inculcating a spirit of unselfishness, by genial and happy fellowship. Separate the little ones from evil associates. Watch carefully the periodicals and books which come into the home, the occasional guest which sits at the table, and the companionships your children form. Parents carelessly let people have free access to their children who undermine their authority, overturn their ideals, and sow seeds of frivolity and iniquity before they are aware. Never let your child spend a night among strangers. So train your girls that they will be useful and helpful members of their generation, and your boys that they will be industrious and self-supporting.
Pray For Your Children
Fourthly, the last and most important duty, respecting both the temporal and spiritual good of your children, is fervent supplication to God for them. Without this all the rest will be ineffectual. Means are unavailing unless the Lord blesses them. The Throne of Grace is to be earnestly implored that your efforts to bring up your children for God may be crowned with success. True, there must be a humble submission to His sovereign will, a bowing before the truth of Election. On the other hand, it is the privilege of faith to lay hold of the divine promises and to remember that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Of holy Job it is recorded concerning his sons and daughters that he “rose up early in the morning and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all.” (1:5) A prayerful atmosphere should pervade the home and be breathed by all who share it.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Motherhood as a Mission Field
The Lord has entrusted us with these little ones. He did not say, have children and go minister to my flock. This is your flock. You are ministering to the multitude. You are raising up a generation to love and serve the Lord and witnessing to those who will come after you. All your work is not in vain. The work you do today and the decisions you make today will have an effect on your future generations. This is not meaningless, unfulfilled toil. It is kingdom work. It is a high and sacred calling. It is sacrifice for Him. May you be glorified Lord Jesus.
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-as-a-mission-field
From Desiring God:
Motherhood as a Mission Field
There is a good old saying, perhaps only said by my Grandfather, that distance adds intrigue. It is certainly true — just think back to anything that has ever been distant from you that is now near. Your driver’s license. Marriage. Children. Things that used to seem so fascinating, but as they draw near become less mystical and more, well, real.
This same principle certainly applies to mission fields too. The closer you get to home, the less intriguing the work of sacrifice seems. As someone once said, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom with the dishes.” When you are a mother at home with your children, the church is not clamoring for monthly ministry updates. When you talk to other believers, there is not any kind of awe about what you are sacrificing for the gospel. People are not pressing you for needs you might have, how they can pray for you. It does not feel intriguing, or glamorous. Your work is normal, because it is as close to home as you can possibly be. You have actually gone so far as to become home.
There are a number of ways in which mothers need to study their own roles, and begin to see them, not as boring and inconsequential, but as home, the headwaters of missions.
At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.
Think about the feeding of the five thousand when the disciples went out and rounded up the food that was available. It wasn’t much. Some loaves. Some fish. Think of some woman pulling her fish out and handing it to one of the disciples. That had to have felt like a small offering. But the important thing about those loaves and those fishes was not how big they were when they were given, it was about whose hands they were given into. In the hands of the Lord, that offering was sufficient. It was more than sufficient. There were leftovers. Given in faith, even a small offering becomes great.
Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?
But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.
It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.
God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.
Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).
This same principle certainly applies to mission fields too. The closer you get to home, the less intriguing the work of sacrifice seems. As someone once said, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom with the dishes.” When you are a mother at home with your children, the church is not clamoring for monthly ministry updates. When you talk to other believers, there is not any kind of awe about what you are sacrificing for the gospel. People are not pressing you for needs you might have, how they can pray for you. It does not feel intriguing, or glamorous. Your work is normal, because it is as close to home as you can possibly be. You have actually gone so far as to become home.
Home: The Headwaters of Mission
If you are a Christian woman who loves the Lord, the gospel is important to you. It is easy to become discouraged, thinking that the work you are doing does not matter much. If you were really doing something for Christ you would be out there, somewhere else, doing it. Even if you have a great perspective on your role in the kingdom, it is easy to lose sight of it in the mismatched socks, in the morning sickness, in the dirty dishes. It is easy to confuse intrigue with value, and begin viewing yourself as the least valuable part of the Church.There are a number of ways in which mothers need to study their own roles, and begin to see them, not as boring and inconsequential, but as home, the headwaters of missions.
At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.
Faith Makes the Small Offering Great
If you are like me, then you may be thinking “What did I ever give up for them? A desk job? Time at the gym? Extra spending money? My twenty- year- old figure? Some sleep?” Doesn’t seem like much when you put it next to the work of some of the great missionaries, people who gave their lives for the gospel.Think about the feeding of the five thousand when the disciples went out and rounded up the food that was available. It wasn’t much. Some loaves. Some fish. Think of some woman pulling her fish out and handing it to one of the disciples. That had to have felt like a small offering. But the important thing about those loaves and those fishes was not how big they were when they were given, it was about whose hands they were given into. In the hands of the Lord, that offering was sufficient. It was more than sufficient. There were leftovers. Given in faith, even a small offering becomes great.
Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?
Gain What You Cannot Lose in Them
So, if mothers are strategically situated to impact missions so greatly, why do we see so little coming from it? I think the answer to this is quite simple: sin. Discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment. Christians often feel like the right thing to do is to be ashamed about what we have. We hear that quote of Jim Elliot’s and think that we ought to sell our homes and move to some place where they need the gospel.But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.
It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.
God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.
Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
From Mothers
“I finally came to the point of deciding that my heart’s desire was that at age sixty I will want to have given my life to my children. To know that I gave all I had. To have no regrets. To do the best that I could. I made a choice to invest myself in my home. Not to give lip service to it, but to dig in and really make a difference. Not to just mark off time, but to do it well, to give of myself. I am being called to be a missionary. Not to Africa, but ‘to my own people.’ To my little ones. To my family.”
– Kym Wright
Author of Women: Living Life on Purpose
– Kym Wright
Author of Women: Living Life on Purpose
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Next to Heaven
next to heaven,
I have decided that there is no greater place
than being with friends
that the Lord has brought into your life
and singing hymns of praise to Him.
♥ ♥ ♥ Happy Anniversary
for our 32nd wedding anniversary,
our children
their grandmother,
and our son-in-law,
gave us a wonderful night
at a very peaceful B&B
we were very blessed
to have this time
to laugh, cry, reconnect, pray.
with unemployed men in the house
we haven't had an opportunity to get out much
the Lord,
and our children,
knew just what we needed. ♥
Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him. Proverbs 20:6-7
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